Fibromyalgia Days – some Bad and some Worse

    I have just recovered from a few really bad days with my symptoms from Fibromyalgia. Some days I wonder which is worse, the Pain or the Fatigue. At least when I hurt bad, I can still manage to work. I may not think as clearly (fibro-fog) or move so quickly, but I can still function. On the days when the fatigue is worse I really have a rough time working. I can barely make it out of bed and I feel pretty much worthless on the job. I can’t seem to think straight, and other symptoms like, Irritable Bowel, Pain feeling like Itch, Numbness and tingling in any part of my body that you can imagine. For the past three days I have had both Pain and Fatigue along with everything else. I hurt in places where I never thought you could have pain. I have had shooting pain in my penis (I am somewhat reluctant to share this, but mayhaps someone else can take comfort in the fact that they are not the only one that has pain there), if you can imagine that! A lot of pain in my legs, hips, Butt and scalp. I have not been able to shower because the water hitting my skin hurts too much to stand. One of the most dis-heartening things is that my wife needed comforting and wanted to cuddle with me, but I had to tell her I could not cuddle right now, because of the pain. "Are there other fibromyalgia sufferers like me", I wonder. I thank God that the weather is nicer today. Everytime the Barometric Pressure changes, it causes me to hurt more, but especially when the pressure is dropping. For a long time people wondered how I was able to predict changes in the weather. I can usually tell you three days in advance, before it is going to rain. I have suffered several ailments in my life but this; this Fibromyalgia is a thief. It has robbed me of my health, quality of life and has also caused me to feel shut out by friends and family. I think that most of them just don’t want to see me when I am suffering symptoms, but it doesn’t make it any less emotionally painful. Sometimes I wish they could understand what I have been going through for the past ten to twelve years, but that would mean that they would have to suffer in order to relate to me, and I would never wish this illness on any other human being.
    One of the worst feelings is; I feel that I am not a good testimony as a christian. I know God understands that I am not capable of what I used to be able to do. I know that the Bible teaches that "His Grace is sufficient for me". I guess I just need to concentrate on my Faith that He is always able to take that which is weak and make it His strength. He is able to use my feable body to give Him Praise, even if I don’t see or understand the way He is working. I know it is not His fault that I have this disease, and that He would never give it to me (He only gives good gifts to His children)… I suppose we all must suffer in one way or another so that we can understand how much He loves us in that He was willing to suffer unto death in order to secure our Salvation. So,… even if I do not feel like it I will choose to Praise Him, and Thank Him for taking a miserable wretch like me, and still manage to use me to serve Him and love others.
    Thanks for taking the time to read this, I just needed to vent a little bit. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by the loss of my health, when I should just be Thankful for lifes blessings. God’s love and the love of my family (including my church family) is much greater than any pain I can suffer here on this earth.
 
If anyone else out there needs to vent, or share your feelings about Fibromyalgia I have set up an old style forum on my web site. Click Here to go to the Forum (I set this up for people who have Fibromyalgia and still manage to operate a business, But it is really for anyone that wants to share with us).
Charles Beason
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About Charles Beason

Flooring Consultant/ Estimator, Bi-vocational Pastor of Oasis Missionary Baptist Church, Internet Business Owner, Webmaster.

Posted on February 25, 2008, in Fibromyalgia and Business. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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